i'm about to finish college
Isn't it crazy to think that after all this time on the blog, the college tag is finally going to retire?
Every morning I wake up in my college apartment with the acute knowledge that my days here are numbered, finite, dwindling, whatever you want to call them. I went apartment hunting with my mother yesterday for med school housing since I'll be moving to a new city. The one we settled on is less than half the size of mine right now. All the agents and front desks say we started looking too late, and that everybody's already gotten the better units, but I don't really care; I just want to get out of here.
And isn't that crazy? To be so aware of your leaving, and to want it anyway? Four years in this city is enough. I've studied ten years in the tangled heart of this country and I've always, always packed up and left after each level cleared. I'm a small town girl. I know I'm not meant to stay here, wherever here is, very long. There's only one place I really belong and none of my friends have ever seen it, never even knew it existed before they met me. Not a single one of these apartments and cities will ever really be mine. Not the last one, not this one, and not the next one.
It's crazy to think that someone else was there before me. It's crazy to think that some college freshman will be sitting in this studio after me, sleeping and waking up and crying and laughing in the same corners I did. I hope they do well. I hope they get everything they want and more. I hope I do. I hope you do, too.