man! i feel like a woman!
Just got home from class. I didn't have a particularly good start to the day—it was kinda straight out of a sitcom, now that I think about it. I woke up about 40 minutes before I was supposed to be in class because I either slept through my alarm or it didn't ring at all. I got there 20 minutes late, but miraculously, it turned out my professor had sent a message saying we'd be starting 30 minutes late and I just didn't see it while I was rushing to get ready.
I couldn't decide what to wear in such a short amount of time, so I ended up putting on some rarely-worn jeans and one of my mom's old sweaters. The color is a bit too cool-toned for my skin, but I wore it anyway. No makeup or hair styling, either. I felt so...not me, but time was ticking and I didn't know we were starting late, so I just let it be.
I ended up skipping lunch with my friends to do chores around the apartment and eat the food in my refrigerator. (Haven't done either, since I sat down to write this post.) I took off my shoes and tied up my hair. Poured myself a glass of water. Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, for a moment, that I looked just like my mother.
I don't think I look a lot like my mom, not really. We have the same build, but my face is a mix, one of those where you can pick out any relative if you squint. I'm taller than her, and she's fairer than me. But I saw myself in the mirror in that split second, turning and walking away, and I thought I looked like a woman like her.
I haven't seen a lot of pictures of her college days, but maybe this was what she looked like back then, too: a student far from home, getting ready to do some chores before having lunch and studying for a test. I'm even wearing her clothes, studying in the same city she did. I usually don't feel much like a woman, just a girl with some growing up to do, but for a tiny bit, I did.
Maybe this is just a moment that's already happened to her, that's happening to me, that's going to happen to my daughter in the future. I don't know. We'll see how it goes.