the week comes to a close (finally)
It's 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning. My windows are closed, so the world outside is quiet. The only sounds are my classical playlist, the fan humming, and my own typing. I have chores to do and somewhere to be later, but for now, I'm just in bed.
The past few weeks have been so crazy. My department ran a weeklong series of events right after I got back to the city, and I was swamped with work because I'm part of all our student organizations. I got home after dark every single day of the week. I think my only saving grace was forgetting to hit submit on the signup form to work on one org's event, so I only did stuff for the other ones.
I got to sing a lot (fun!) and write a lot (less fun when you don't particularly like any of the many things you're supposed to be writing). Turns out you have to pour a lot of energy into things when you're a choir member opening and closing programs and also the writer who scripted one of the said programs. And wrote more stuff. I think there's no more creativity left in me after this week. I need to read a book or something.
By the end of the week I was singing our usual choir songs nearly on autopilot, though it's not good autopiloting. I need to practice more. Sometimes I lose my nerve when I remember I'm still inhabiting a body with lots of moving parts. I never know what to do with my hands. It's pretty painful to see photographic evidence of me onstage (I just look like this: 🧍♀️), so I need to do something about it.
I'm getting better at singing with an audience, but I'm still miles away from comfortable. I can sing with the rest of my choir, but I have to sit down if I'm singing a song on my own in karaoke or else I'm going to trip over air and ruin my notes. But I sang The Phantom of the Opera with my friends and hit the last high note! Very sloppily, but not bad for some unserious karaoke in the middle of the day without warming up.
It's pretty funny to realize I want to get better at singing, after a lifetime of refusing to perform for anything that wasn't 100% mandatory. One of the girls in choir said something about doing stuff that's new to her because she wants to extend her range, and I was so amazed because it never even occurred to me that you could extend your range on purpose. And she sounded so good when she demonstrated her progress so far, and internally I was all, woah, I want to have a voice like you.
I've been pretty chill so far today, but I have to get my head back in the game for all the exams and papers looming up ahead. Guess I have to stop here and go start some work.